first month is a killer!

I'm on my way muddling through my first month for my senior year in high school.proud to say I'm handling both academic and curricular very well.this year,I'm starting off with an open and decent mind for the upcoming future and terminate my laziness and slacks as much as i can.so far,i have done a good job dealing stress very well and deserves a pad on my shoulder.
i managed to sweep all my homework done but currently editing my English presentation for the upcoming week.it's sort of a L.M.J.i know but wish my luck!

self realisation

i realise i should forget about him.i tried but when we meet up and talk,there's always a "gravitational pull" between us.i tried to avoid accusations that i might have the "thing" towards him.i know i dont deserve for such desires,i tried to forget him.but his name,his face haunts me ever day.only god knows what happened.sigh.anyhow,whats done is done.i decided to forget him,and i will.i will put my studies as my first priority followed by family and friends.but it's still hurt to think of him

heart sank,anguish

i didnt know how to decide.continue being a debater or throw in the towel?i smile,and cried for having such experience.but i really think i dont deserve!i didnt know how to move this chess.i didnt knw such frets could be such a big deal!a debater shouldn't get such low grade.i lost faith in myself,how am i suppose to convince teachers?i didnt want to disappoint ppl who puts on a high expectations on me.maybe putri's right,my English grade is an embarrassment.as for me,i think i'm a embarrassment.someone whose live for English,C is not a prerequisite!i tried to over come this issue,but sadness and interrogations over-whelmed me!i guess i better get going.ice cream and a full hour of crying might help.=6

reaching it

if u've been following my facebook,u may have guess that i'm on my basic in drum.it took me a while on hesitation to get in and i should've gone in ages ago.first,my senior wasnt sure about me and reluctant to teach me drum.in the end,coach gave me a shot in drum and i was in cloud 9.i happily learn my theory and then to basic drumming.W.O.W,i should say.it was the happiest day for this year.HAHA!after practice,puttie and i went to manduh's hse and den head to JJ for movies.Andy tagged along too and we have so much fun and a lil crazy while waiting to get in the theater.we didnt took any picture.pfft.haha!

so the day after ytd was a ****.well enough said,i'm trying to disguise my anger in front of my parents.naggy much.sigh.

p/s:IMMA PLAY DRUM!!PAPAPILAPAPAPILAPA

friend who is no longer remembered

putri mentioned about lily today and i had this weird feeling.it felt long since we last met.it felt as if she's a friend,almost a long lost friend i should say.the more we spilt apart,the more we feel strangers.hmm
friday nights always reminds me of my past.mostly my childhood.i remembered how bad i was before.i dont know if i still am now.some of u might think,im totally a changed person.but i can say,people change for good.i changed to a more independent person.thats all bywe

they suck eggrolls,big time!

wut up.i know it took me long to revive my blog.so,how are ya?!its been a while i update and this post will be as simple as i can edit.first of all,i felt magnificence after my parents bought a new MYVI.i know its not any luxury car but it does ensure me that when i further my studies to University or College,i'll be able to drive there and this car might be mine.i suppose.it has been modify a lil and its in sparkling red in color.i know its may sound kinda notmytypeofcar but trust me,i love it.even Ferrari is in red.haha.besides car,my eldest brother shyen was thinking of buying a Iphone 3Gs despite that his current phone is going through problems.the beauty of this thing is,i'm gonna be using his Ipod touch once he have his Iphone.that's a fantastic news for me.the next great news is next week imma be in camp with putraeeeee,bibianca,and sammae!cant wait!
P/S:my school BSM is a shit.take note

xoxo

speechless

i've got involved in a fight with my bro and its a misunderstanding.i thought it was nothing at once,nothing but a normal siblings fight but boy was i wrong!my bro decided to go for a jog after he complains everything to my mother(what a baby!) and yea,without finding out what exactly happened,she called me and yelled at me even though i denied the claim.i finally know where i stand in this family,just a person that will be parents favourite when sibling's gone,a rubbish while they're home.i'm just an eyesore to them.yes,i'm not exaggerating.when i'm tired and drained they said i wasnt caring too much for this family.but when i care they just threw it away.what they think i am?a dog?or just a booty call that will be on their service when they want me.i dont think they need me!was i born on their plans?!dont they know i'm working very hard to prove myself in school and why are they giving me so much pressures and making so much assumptions on me?!yes,i'm just a joke to u ryt?!what happened ytd was a cystal clear wake up call!i'm the one who burns the jungle in ur thought!i dont even want to be here!i dont even want to be in a home which looks like a perfect home but inside,theres nothing but 4 walls!haiz.
anyways,i just came back from atika's farewell party.i felt free and very happy to be around them.yeap,they are better than pills!