heart sank,anguish

i didnt know how to decide.continue being a debater or throw in the towel?i smile,and cried for having such experience.but i really think i dont deserve!i didnt know how to move this chess.i didnt knw such frets could be such a big deal!a debater shouldn't get such low grade.i lost faith in myself,how am i suppose to convince teachers?i didnt want to disappoint ppl who puts on a high expectations on me.maybe putri's right,my English grade is an embarrassment.as for me,i think i'm a embarrassment.someone whose live for English,C is not a prerequisite!i tried to over come this issue,but sadness and interrogations over-whelmed me!i guess i better get going.ice cream and a full hour of crying might help.=6