heart sank,anguish

i didnt know how to decide.continue being a debater or throw in the towel?i smile,and cried for having such experience.but i really think i dont deserve!i didnt know how to move this chess.i didnt knw such frets could be such a big deal!a debater shouldn't get such low grade.i lost faith in myself,how am i suppose to convince teachers?i didnt want to disappoint ppl who puts on a high expectations on me.maybe putri's right,my English grade is an embarrassment.as for me,i think i'm a embarrassment.someone whose live for English,C is not a prerequisite!i tried to over come this issue,but sadness and interrogations over-whelmed me!i guess i better get going.ice cream and a full hour of crying might help.=6

reaching it

if u've been following my facebook,u may have guess that i'm on my basic in drum.it took me a while on hesitation to get in and i should've gone in ages ago.first,my senior wasnt sure about me and reluctant to teach me drum.in the end,coach gave me a shot in drum and i was in cloud 9.i happily learn my theory and then to basic drumming.W.O.W,i should say.it was the happiest day for this year.HAHA!after practice,puttie and i went to manduh's hse and den head to JJ for movies.Andy tagged along too and we have so much fun and a lil crazy while waiting to get in the theater.we didnt took any picture.pfft.haha!

so the day after ytd was a ****.well enough said,i'm trying to disguise my anger in front of my parents.naggy much.sigh.

p/s:IMMA PLAY DRUM!!PAPAPILAPAPAPILAPA

friend who is no longer remembered

putri mentioned about lily today and i had this weird feeling.it felt long since we last met.it felt as if she's a friend,almost a long lost friend i should say.the more we spilt apart,the more we feel strangers.hmm
friday nights always reminds me of my past.mostly my childhood.i remembered how bad i was before.i dont know if i still am now.some of u might think,im totally a changed person.but i can say,people change for good.i changed to a more independent person.thats all bywe

they suck eggrolls,big time!

wut up.i know it took me long to revive my blog.so,how are ya?!its been a while i update and this post will be as simple as i can edit.first of all,i felt magnificence after my parents bought a new MYVI.i know its not any luxury car but it does ensure me that when i further my studies to University or College,i'll be able to drive there and this car might be mine.i suppose.it has been modify a lil and its in sparkling red in color.i know its may sound kinda notmytypeofcar but trust me,i love it.even Ferrari is in red.haha.besides car,my eldest brother shyen was thinking of buying a Iphone 3Gs despite that his current phone is going through problems.the beauty of this thing is,i'm gonna be using his Ipod touch once he have his Iphone.that's a fantastic news for me.the next great news is next week imma be in camp with putraeeeee,bibianca,and sammae!cant wait!
P/S:my school BSM is a shit.take note

xoxo

speechless

i've got involved in a fight with my bro and its a misunderstanding.i thought it was nothing at once,nothing but a normal siblings fight but boy was i wrong!my bro decided to go for a jog after he complains everything to my mother(what a baby!) and yea,without finding out what exactly happened,she called me and yelled at me even though i denied the claim.i finally know where i stand in this family,just a person that will be parents favourite when sibling's gone,a rubbish while they're home.i'm just an eyesore to them.yes,i'm not exaggerating.when i'm tired and drained they said i wasnt caring too much for this family.but when i care they just threw it away.what they think i am?a dog?or just a booty call that will be on their service when they want me.i dont think they need me!was i born on their plans?!dont they know i'm working very hard to prove myself in school and why are they giving me so much pressures and making so much assumptions on me?!yes,i'm just a joke to u ryt?!what happened ytd was a cystal clear wake up call!i'm the one who burns the jungle in ur thought!i dont even want to be here!i dont even want to be in a home which looks like a perfect home but inside,theres nothing but 4 walls!haiz.
anyways,i just came back from atika's farewell party.i felt free and very happy to be around them.yeap,they are better than pills!

a giver or an endeavour fool?

last Saturday i went to mid valley with my darls and when its getting late and it's drizzling,we decided to walk out from coffee bean kafe and waited for sam's friend julie's transport.we're standing just right where the entrance are and out of sudden a granny at her late 60s walk towards us and asked for help heres the scene
granny:"girls,can some of u help me by calling my son,kelvin to fetch me home from the bus stop?"
shu wen took out her phone and started dialing while the granny gave her son's number.while shu wen talks to her son
granny:"i've been wandering around the entrance waiting for my son to arrive for hours.i've not even a penny in my pocket and i'm very thirsty i dunno when will my son arrive."
i was stunned to know that shes out there waiting for her son for hours and a lil furious that such a rascal will abandoned his own mother in a mall with no mobile or money with her and even let her wait here for him for hours!i started searching my pockets for money.
me:"aunty,i know rm5 is not much but u can afford a drink for a time being"
granny:"thank you girl,thank you very much"she walk away then
bianca:"u r,dont u know theres lots of cone woman here?no matter how old their age are!?"
me:"aiya,maybe shes fooling us but maybe shes isnt?rm5 is not very much also."
till now,i still dont know if it's true.however i do knw that i'm doing the right thing.how u guys know what message i'm trying to send

oh the agony

i've been busy for weeks,but this week is a life-strangling week.first i just injured both of my knees,the whole trip home i was saying "oh the agony!" and when i got home my maid started screaming to see my injured knees.u should be thinking how weak i am.but to cut the story short,it's because of the authorities for the poor-maintained road.my mum literally scream when she saw my injuries and she ended up spraying dr.smith in my injuries.
a few minutes back i checked my fb and i received an e-mail from Atika Sikun.awwww...i promised i'll make myself available on the 9th.but seriously i hate goodbyes.promise we'll keep in touch?
this Sunday is a big day for Creamy,he's going to a dog's gathering and i'm thinking of waking up early and get him freshen up and tie him in a bow.AHAHAHHA!but even if he gets a wifey and have a dozen of kids.i wont get another puppy anymore.imagine how many crap do i need to clean!sorry boy ;(.
second assessment is in few hours.and i'm pretty darn sure i'm not mentally or physically prepared for it.RAWR!RAWR!hopefully i'll pick up the pieces and not crying over spilt milk.